10 last-minute kids’ Halloween costumes for moms who DGAF


One of the unspoken rules of motherhood is that you will be personally responsible for your child’s costume for a good portion of their adolescence. This is all well and good … until it’s the night before the PTA-organized Halloween party at your kids’ school and you realize that you literally have a matter of hours to throw together a costume for your little one. (Did I mention that all the stores are closed?)

For moms who aren’t obsessively readying their kid’s attire for the Halloween season, coming up with costumes can be a bit of a chore.

Fortunately, kids are naturally cute — so there’s a plethora of lazy costume ideas that won’t require much (read: any) effort on your part, and will still manage to look adorable:

1. Porcupine

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Use black zip-ties an an old hoodie to turn your kid into the cutest little last-minute porcupine ever. Be forewarned, though: this costume could backfire the instant they try to sit on your lap.

2. Mac & Cheese

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Mac & cheese doesn’t just have to be your go-to dinner when you can’t be bothered to do real cooking — it can also be a great (or passable) last-minute costume for your kid. Just paint some old toilet paper rolls and tape them to an orange shirt and you’re good to go!

3. Jelly Beans

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A transparent plastic bag full of balloons is all you need to pull this one off. But, be prepared: if you dress your kid up as jelly beans, they are 100% going to hit you up for actual jelly beans.

4. Turtle

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Take that roast pan you’re never actually going to use, paint it green, and tape it to your kid’s back. Done and done.

5. Ceiling Fan

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The best thing about punny costumes? They usually require minimal to zero effort. Simply give your little one a giant foam finger and a shirt that says “Go Ceiling.” Sure, you’ll spend the entire evening repeating the same joke — but, for a costume that’s under $5, that’s an acceptable sacrifice.

6. Robot

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Take all of that spare tin foil you have lying around and put it to good use by turning your kid into a cute lil’ robot. (And don’t let anybody make you feel bad for putting it back on the roll at the end of the evening — you’re not about to make another trip to the grocery store for that sh*t.)

7. Stick Figure

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Some white long underwear, black electrical tape, and a paper plate are all you need to transform your kid into a stick figure. (Or, if you want to pretend to be “woke,” you could probably just call the costume “Impossible Body Standards.”)

8. Julius Caesar

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Just take an old bed sheet and turn it into a toga. Boom! Done. There’s a reason lazy college students have this as their go-to costume.

9. Elephant

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A long grey sock attached to a pacifier will look so damn cute that people won’t even care that you put minimal effort into this costume idea … just make sure it’s a clean sock, though.

10. A Picnic

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The mother of all lazy costume ideas: dress your baby in an old Ritz box that you’re too lazy to recycle, then pack a picnic (complete with some wine for yourself). It’s honestly a win-win — and after the five minutes you put into this costume, you definitely deserve a little snack.

Meet another DGAF mom, Bridgette Bird, from the new SHOWTIME comedy series SMILF. Catch a sneak peak of the first episode here. New episodes every Sunday at 10pm – only on SHOWTIME.