A Reddit thread documenting dating app users’ terrible ‘Tinder nightmares’ had an unexpectedly sweet twist when one man offered a different perspective on the word ‘nightmare.
User mr-contrarian, an ‘out of shape, overweight, but otherwise stable and normal’ Caucasian man in his 50s, posted in the tread about a match he made on the dating app two years ago. But the nightmarish part of his tale wasn’t that his date behaved badly, stole his car, or told him she planned to get pregnant in the next few months – like some of the other people in the thread experienced.
Rather, his nightmare was that he fell head-over-heels in love – with a woman who had terminal breast cancer.
Heartbreaking: A Reddit user shared the story of his ‘Tinder nightmare’, in which his first date actually went well – so well, in fact, that he fell in love with the woman, who soon revealed she was dying
‘My Tinder nightmare began on Jan. 8, 2014 when I started texting with a beautiful woman who I knew was out of my league,’ mr-contrarian wrote.
She was a 30-year-old college-educated black woman named Genngy who was ‘stunningly beautiful and very elegant’.
Though he didn’t think he had a chance, mr-contrarian still kept up the conversation and even asked her out to a nice restaurant, to which she agreed.
‘I was waiting for her at the bar and when she walked in my jaw hit the floor,’ he recalled. ‘She was so beautiful I literally lost my breath for a moment.
I knew this remarkable woman would have a profound effect on my life
‘She was taller than me in her heels and was wearing a beautiful short dress with the most amazing legs I had ever seen. She greeted me with a bright smile and a gentle hug and we were escorted to our table,’ he said.
The first date went well, and even continued on from the restaurant to a bar. When he finally drove her home at the end of the night, though, he assumed that they would just be friends ‘considering the obvious differences’.
He was wrong. When she got out of the car, she came around to the driver’s side to give him a ‘very brief but sensual kiss’. When he asked her on a second date, she agreed.
‘I was on cloud nine!’ he said. ‘I knew that this remarkable woman would have a profound affect on my life, it seemed pre-destined.’
Things continued to go well for a few weeks and mr-contrarian developed strong feelings for Genny – but despite that, he had a feeling that something was wrong.
‘I had a weird nagging sense that she was hiding something,’ he said. ‘Although she was being very affectionate, something just felt off. Then finally it happened.’
Love story: They continued to see each other despite her illness, and spent over a year together
While out at a bar, Genny turned to him and said that they needed to talk. Fearing the worst, mr-contrarian expected to hear that she wanted to split up – but he was way off.
She told him that she had developed strong feelings for him, too, but she had to tell him something that might change his mind about staying with her.
He wondered if she was married, or a criminal, or – thinking about how he’d noticed that she had breast implants – transgender.
‘She looked at me, and with a tear in her eye, she told me that she has Stage IV breast cancer. She was originally diagnosed four years earlier as Stage III, and had beaten it back into remission after having a double mastectomy along with radiation treatment and chemotherapy.
She looked at me and with a tear in her eye, told me she had breast cancer
Now it had returned as Stage IV and she was to start chemo again in two weeks,’ he said. ‘I was floored! She then stated that she will understand if I wanted to turn and run and she wouldn’t think less of me for it.’
However, mr-contrarian just told her how much he ‘adored’ her and that he thought she was amazing. Still, he cried the whole way home.
They continued to date for a year, even though he had to go to Japan for work. She would meet him there in between treatments and.
‘She lived every day to the fullest and squeezed every iota of happiness out of each moment,’ he recalled. ‘She was unstoppable! While undergoing chemo she insisted on going dancing. And she loved karaoke and sung with such conviction even though she sounded like a wounded cat.’
Then, 15 months after they met, in April of 2015, she died. Mr-contrarian said he’s been very ‘stoic’ since her passing, but reminiscing while writing his post made him cry.
But despite losing her so quickly, mr-contrarian wouldn’t go back and change things if he had the chance.
‘I am a much better man for having met her and shared in her struggle,’ he said. ‘I truly believe that I got more out of it than she did.’