Talking about your burgeoning debt seems a sure way to quell the romance of a blossoming relationship.
But confessing to your love of designer shoes and willingness to splurge will not scare your partner away, in fact, talking finances is the basis of an honest relationship.
Sydney financial advisor Canna Campbell, the guru behind Sugar Mamma, has revealed the most un-romantic questions you need to ask before getting engaged.
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How much debt are you in? Sydney financial advisor Canna Campbell, the guru behind Sugar Mamma, has revealed the un-romantic questions you need to ask before getting engaged
Dishing the financial dirt: She said being upfront about your current financial situation, what your willing to spend money on and your future goals is vital for an honest relationship
Sharing your current financial position, including any debt, what you’re willing to spend money on and your financial goals and is crucial pillow talk before you splurge on a diamond ring, lavish wedding and tropical honeymoon.
Here FEMAIL reveals the four questions you need to ask, and why you should not feel guilty about admitting to buying that pair of Louboutins.
WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FINANCIAL POSITION?
Bills, bills, bills: If you have credit card debt come clean with your partner, honesty is the best financial policy
Baring your financial soul is enough to strike fear in to many peoples’ hearts – but Ms Campbell assured it’s worth it.
‘Great relationships are based around honesty,’ she said.
‘So sharing your financial position (even if it means warts and all), allows you to each understand your partners strengths and weaknesses around money so that you can support each other and remain on track to achieving your financial goals together.’
If you have lingering credit card debt, now is the time to be honest.
Bare your financial soul: Sharing your financial position allows you to understand your partners strengths and weaknesses
‘By coming clean, the other partner now not only knows about it but they can set about paying it off together, and also watch out for any future unhealthy habits so that they avoid getting into any more credit card debt,’ Ms Campbell said.
‘Being upfront and honest with your partner is far more beneficial than being secretive and hiding your financial past.’
WHAT DO YOU SPEND MONEY ON?
Share your splurge: Be upfront about what you’re willing to spend money on, not everyone is a fan of dropping hundreds of dollars on scatter cushions
While you might think it’s fine to drop $700 on a set of scatter cushions, your partner might not.
Sharing what you spend money on, and respecting what brings your partner happiness, is crucial for successful relationship.
‘Balance is fundamental in order for a relationship to be successful,’ Ms Campbell said.
Finding balance: Ms Campbell said couples should reach financial goals together and in doing so be willing to compromise
‘This may mean that at times you or your partner may need to compromise on personal luxuries in order to reach your shared financial goals.
‘Completing a budget together is a great way to start this conversation.
‘Make sure you are relaxed and honest as this process takes time, however, if completed accurately is entirely worth it.’
WHAT DOES FINANCIAL SECURITY AND WEALTH MEAN TO YOU?
Think a debt free life and money in the bank makes you wealthy?
Knowing what financial security and wealth mean to your partner is vital, and understanding each others’ values will enable you to make financial decisions together.
‘One partner may think that financial security means having no debt and a whole pile of cash in the bank, whilst the other thinks that it is having a big house, a couple of cars and lots of overseas holidays,’ Ms Campbell said.
‘Also, one partner may be more motivated or more financially knowledgeable than the other, which can sometimes create an intimidating gap in the relationship dynamics.
Working together: ‘You should focus on achieving your goals through teamwork and you should applaud your partner for their positive financial habits,’ Ms Campbell said
‘However supporting each other to make educated financial decisions together where both people understand and see value in those decisions will create a lot more harmony and trust in the relationship.
‘Never belittle your partner or make them feel insignificant if they are not as financially independent as you are.
‘You should focus on achieving your goals through teamwork and you should applaud your partner for their positive financial habits.’
WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE?
Life goals: Share what you want out of life with your partner before you get engaged – knowing where you want to live, whether you want a house or apartment and how many kids is crucial both financially and personally
Couples starting a life together need to think about just that.
Knowing what you partner wants in life in terms of where they want to live, whether they want an apartment or house and their expectations regarding children are important questions on both a personal and financial level.
‘Focus on the goals that you share and create a financial plan together,’ Ms Campbell said.
‘The power of honesty’: Ms Campbell said couples should focus on their goals together to work towards a financial plan
‘In doing so, you will create a bond with your partner as you positively work towards financial freedom.
‘Having a clear understanding of expectations and a high level of desire and motivation should allow each partner find their place in the relationship.
‘Remember to never underestimate the power of honesty when communicating your financial past and future goals with your partner.’