An excruciatingly long wait between the ceremony and reception, being stuck at the ‘singles table’ and cringe-worthy love songs: chances are you have been to an ‘annoying’ wedding.
But times are changing, according to bridal coach and Inlighten Photography director Rachael Bentick.
The Sydney photographer told Daily Mail Australia there has been a shift away from dull wedding traditions with couples instead placing priority on their guests’ enjoyment.
And while poor time management is irritating, it’s also the little things that get on peoples’ nerves.
Annoyed by weddings? Bridal coach and Inlighten Photography director Rachael Bentick has named the most annoying wedding traditions from long waits to terrible DJs
Focus on fun: Luckily, Ms Bentick said there had been a shift away from tradition with couples focused on their guests enjoyment in 2016
‘For me an RSVP card I have to put in the mail drives me nuts,’ Ms Bentick told Daily Mail Australia.
‘I just don’t go to the post office anymore.
‘If you don’t want to be annoying, the number one wedding don’t is to not talk about your wedding too much.’
Here Ms Bentick shared with FEMAIL the top five wedding traditions that irritate guests, and why weddings are no longer the agonizing events that they used to be.
1: ALL WEDDINGS ARE THE SAME
It might feel like if you have been to one wedding, you’ve been to them all.
‘Wedding tradition has been the name of the game since, well, forever,’ Ms Bentick said.
‘From the speeches to the vows, the first dance to the dress, for centuries couples have abided by a set of rules that dictate every diminutive constituent of their big day.
Day of tradition: From the speeches to vows, wedding traditions can make every event feel the same – but couples are now placing a higher priority on their guests’ enjoyment
Personal touch: Couples are stepping away from tradition to make their days unique and memorable for guests
She said in recent years she had seen a shift away from tradition in favour of ‘no rules’ weddings where couples placed a priority on having a good time.
‘With the rise of social media everyone wants their weddings to be spoken about in a great way and shared and talked about for many years to come,’ Ms Bentick said.
‘There’s no sticking to tradition, you need to make it your own to make it memorable and a real reflection of who you are as a couple.’
‘Kiss the generic hotel-package wedding goodbye’: Unique locations such as private estates, museums and observatories are rising in popularity
Move it along: Gone are the long, dull speeches – couples are keeping it short and snappy so their guests can hit the dance floor
In 2016 she said you could ‘kiss the generic hotel-package wedding goodbye’ in favour of unique locations such as private estates, museums and observatories.
‘It’s even becoming more and more popular for modern couples to skip the custom-style ceremony altogether, instead hosting a more intimate party or celebration with all of their friends,’ she said.
Another time sap can be speeches, that can go for ‘well over an hour’.
‘I think the longest speeches are often when females speak as well,’ Ms Bentick said.
2: YOU SPEND MOST OF THE DAY WAITING AROUND
A destination wedding might seem the ideal location to tie the knot, but with such ample photo opportunities, the time guests spend waiting for the happy couple can increase.
Ms Bentick said the ‘most extreme’ case she has seen was a wedding in tropical north Queensland were guests waited hours while the photos were taken.
‘Because it’s a destination wedding, it’s not like the guests could go home and fill in the day with a couple of chores,’ she said.
‘The guests were stuck at that point, let’s just say there was a higher than average booze consumption.’
Tedious: Ms Bentick said one wedding, held in tropical North Queensland, saw guests wait for hours while the couple had photos taken
New tradition: To save time, couples are having their photographs taken before the ceremony, and photographs can still capture the first moment the groom lays eyes on his bride
But much to the relief of wedding-goers, the endless periods of waiting around are becoming on the way out.
‘One way couples are making the day more seamless is by arranging the bridal shoot pre-wedding,’ Ms Bentick said.
‘Grooms are seeing their bride before the wedding ceremony even starts.
‘Professional photographers are now frequently asked to capture the moment he lays eyes on his bride, and not only does it make for stellar wedding photos, it means guests are taken directly from the ceremony to the reception, because the party should never stop.’
3: CHICKEN, BEEF OR FISH?
Chicken or fish? Tradition sees guests allocated to certain tables with single friends grouped together
Almost worse than being assigned to the ‘singles’ table is being given a meal you don’t want to eat.
But Ms Bentick said there has been a shift away from the alternate-drop method of dining to smorgasbords of food and share platters available at long, rectangular tables.
‘I think as well as the average age of brides increases the brides expectation of quality food and wine is increasing as well,’ she said.
Musical chairs: Ms Bentick said she had seen a shift towards long, rectangular tables
Help yourself: There has been a shift away from chicken, beef or fish options with smorgasbord and share platter style dining
‘Thanks to the huge spike in shared meals and communal seating, unsightly centrepieces are a thing of the past.’
She said the long banquet style tables also made guests feel like they’re at the same level.
‘It doesn’t work for every venue, but who wants to be stuck at the singles table?
‘It’s like a social indicator.’
4: YOU MUST GIVE A GIFT
No presents: Gift registries are outdated and annoying for guests who have to set time aside before the wedding day
Put simply, gift registries are painful.
Ms Bentick said society’s ‘weird relationship’ with money had kept the outdated tradition alive, but giving a gift of towels is not always necessary.
‘Guests still find themselves in the awkward position of selecting gifts they don’t particularly wish to buy, and couples still find themselves with a surplus of useless ‘stuff’,’ she said.
Just give cash: ‘They are more than equipped with everything they need to make a home and Williams Sonoma doesn’t excite them like it used it,’ Ms Bentick said
Gifts for the house were rife in the ’70s when is was more common for couples to have not lived together before they were married, but in 2016, times have changed.
‘They are more than equipped with everything they need to make a home and Williams Sonoma doesn’t excite them like it used it,’ Ms Bentick said.
She said a gift registry also took up guests time before the wedding.
‘I want to see the couple have a fantastic life together,’ she said.
‘Weddings are expensive, contributing cash helps them and it’s certainly a lot easier.’
5: THE DJ IS ALWAYS DAGGY
Bad DJs are out: Daggy DJs who don’t play to their audience, or play the music too loud, are on the out
Ms Bentick said: ‘one upon a time it was all about the dress’ and brides would happily skimp on music or catering in favour of their dream gown.
She said the worst DJs she had seen were ones that could not pick their crowd.
‘Sometimes let’s be honest, a little bit of daggy ’80s music can get the party started,’ she said.
‘But don’t keep it on too long.’
She said DJs who played the wrong genre of music for their audience, or music that was too loud, were also deal breakers.
Fun and games: Couples are placing more focus on entertainment with live bands, interactive stations and outdoor games
Day to remember: ‘2016 will see a greater focus on the ‘party vibe’ of weddings, and everyone will benefit,’ she said
‘You don’t want to be blasting techno dance music during the meals,’ she said.
She said couples are now less focused on their own appearances and more concerned about their guests.
‘Weddings are getting smaller and couples are now better able to splash out on the important things, including a variety of high-quality entertainment such as live bands to unique interactive stations and outdoor games,’ she said.
‘2016 will see a greater focus on the ‘party vibe’ of weddings, and everyone will benefit.’
Ms Bentick, who has more than ten year’s experience, hosts bridal coaching sessions for brides-to-be to share their experiences.